“I. Am. Here. I’ve Got This.”

“I. Am. Here. I’ve got this.”

That’s what Christ has whispered to me (and continues to whisper to me) over and over again since my son’s suicide in 2013. Jesus never gets impatient with me, or tired of telling me how much He loves me. His word (rock-solid & infallible) assures me, “His mercies are new every morning.” (Lamentations 3:23)

As I sit in the quiet of my thoughts, I ponder things I cannot grasp….I know He’s got “other, more important things to do”. But, from my perspective – the only way I know how to explain it – is that Jesus makes me feel as though….I am His “most important thing.”

“The LORD is my shepherd…..I will not be afraid…” (Psalm 23) “I have loved you with an everlasting love,” God says through Jeremiah.

And then there are the Gospels: when we get an up-close, front-row view of who God is. And what we see is beyond human comprehension.

What we see in the four Gospel accounts is a multitude of stories of Jesus (“God with skin on”) stopping what He was doing to give 100% of His attention to individuals: a grieving father (Mark 5:21-43), a grieving mother (Luke 7:11-17), grieving sisters (John 11), a sick woman (Luke 13:10-13), a pharisee searching for truth (John 3:1-15), a beggar searching for hope (John 9:1-7), and a broken/guilt-laden fisherman (John 21:15-19). The stories go on and on…. Jesus saved the world. But, it doesn’t take a career theologian to understand that the “world” is comprised of individual people – each one a treasure of the King on whom He has “lavished His love & grace”. (Ephesians 1:7-9)

Yes. This is Jesus Christ. The Alpha and the Omega. Terrifying Holy God. Lion of the Tribe of Judah. And Gentle Savior/Prince of Peace. He. Loves. YOU. And, regardless of what comes, He whispers to you now, “I. Am. Here. I’ve got this.”

Below is a photo of a “Jesus Calling” devo my awesome sister, Susan Watts Halgren, copied for me one year ago today – less than a month after Jordan Blake Watts walked into Paradise. May the truth of Jesus’ words “set you free”. (John 8:32)

I love you, nw

Jun 11 - Jesus Calling 2

Sometimes….I Just Miss Him

Sometimes….., I just miss him. The pain in my chest is constricting, and heavy. I shut the door to my office. And i cry. And then I cry some more. It’s not complicated. I. just. miss. him.

I want him to help me with Super Summer preparations. With planning. With ideas. Etc. I miss his sharp wit. His hilarious imitations of people. I miss his singing. His creativity. His “dancing.” His joy. His adventurous warrior-poet personality. And the sound of his voice.

I miss him calling me just to tell me, “Dad! I just finished Galatians! It’s awesome!”

But then…..


All of a sudden. I am acutely aware of a Presence. An overwhelmingly powerful – yet gently loving – Presence. He whispers to me, “I. Am. Here. I’ve got this.”

“I am Jesus”, He tells me. “I am the resurrection and the life. Jordan believed in Me. Therefore, even though he died, yet he LIVES.” (John 11:25)

“Set your minds on things that are above, Nick, not on things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2)

And so I do. And, as the song goes, “the things of earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

soli deo gloria, nw